Official Eye on Happy Jack Thread

Posts : 9728

In the interest of scientific and supernatural research I am creating this thread as an experiment based on the "2 threads, 2 deads - Who'll be the next in line?" thread. Since Jacko is the one who brought the subject up I decided that he would be the perfect Guinea pig for the experiment. After all,these are his very own words:

Quote :

There does seem to be some sort of common link, indeed.

Please do not use this thread as a forum to bash Happy Jack or to make fun of him. As we all know there are ample opportunities to do so in just about any thread he participates in.

First we need a couple of questions answered.....

1)How's you health,Jack? Any serious problems or life threatening illnesses that would compromise the study?

2)Electrical wiring and outlets:Is your home up to code as far as the electrical system is concerned? Have you made sure that their are no frayed cords running to your electrical outlets and that they are not overloaded?

Please don't read anything sinister into the above questions,Jack. We are simply attempting to establish a baseline in order to conduct an important study that will lead to a positive outcome.

We thank you in advance for your cooperation in this study

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Since Happy Jack hides behind a screen name, how would any of us know anything about his life? I really don't think he has the brains or the money to impact anything. Freetime and the Preacher worked hard using the media to publicly express their opinions and bring about change.

Posts : 6988

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank my two favorite landladies, Artie and sparks, who continue to graciously allow me to take up residence, rent-free, inside their spacious and airy crania.
You have no idea how pleasant it is to live in a place that has never been used before.

Posts : 694

sparks wrote:: Since Happy Jack hides behind a screen name, how would any of us know anything about his life? I really don't think he has the brains or the money to impact anything. Freetime and the Preacher worked hard using the media to publicly express their opinions and bring about change.

Great point. Maybe it would be best to use sparks for the experiment. We know who he is. He provides plenty of material. It would be another brand of person, hammond apologist as opposed to hammond haters, which could be interesting. Never met the guy, but if all reports are true he is a heart attack waiting to happen, so that could mess with the purity of the data...

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i wish no ill upon anyone. if something were to happen i think id freak out. but i have to admit it is an interesting experiment.

if there is some sort of supernatural connection, i think we need to look past the local pests and perhaps onto the world of potential apoocolypse type kooks, your chavez's and ackmenajihad types.

but of course since were still in the theoretical stages. i guess hj will do for now for research purposes

Posts : 6988

I see a new member has joined the Queer Eye on the Straight Guy thread.
Fresh input is always welcome.

Posts : 6988

Welcome to the first season of Queer Eye On The Straight Guy, a brand new sitcom from the writers and producers of Will and Grace, in which three wacky and very, very fabulous fellows find themselves sharing a house in a middle-class neighborhood.
Follow the adventures (and misadventures!!!!) of Arnie90210, sporks, and the orifice as they find themselves vying for the attentions of their handsome but straight new neighbor, Gay Jacques, whose very name confuses these three easily confusable and hapless chaps.

Meet Arnie90210, the always amorous chucklehead who hops from bed to bathhouse and back to bed.

Meet sporks, a ‘jolly’ gent who enjoys his pizza, ribs, and chocolate cake in mass quantities, and just can’t seem to find Mr. Right.

Meet the orifice, slack-jawed and extremely slow-witted, yet extraordinarily dull.

And finally, meet an increasingly uncomfortable Jacques as he tries to politely fend off the advances of this lovable trio.

In the season premiere, we find Arnie90210 in a doctor’s waiting room, fantasizing about Jacques. However, he soon forgets about Jacques when he meets, for the first time, his new proctologist, Dr. Mike ‘Slick Fist’ Mc Coy. Watch as Arnie90210 falls, and falls hard, for the hunky medico.

Also in the kick-off episode, we find sporks, on a visit to a nature preserve, accidentally squashing a raccoon to death underneath one of his ample buttocks. Feeling guilty, sporks attempts to atone for his insult to Mother Nature by doing something environmentally correct. Hoping to surprise his housemates, sporks buys a Smart Car. But the surprise is on sporks when he gets home and finds that, although he managed with difficulty to get into the car, he can’t manage to get himself out. As his roomies slather him with the contents of their rapidly-depleting five gallon tub of K-Y jelly, sporks just can’t manage to squeeze himself out of the tiny car. Hilarity ensues.

And finally, the witless orifice finds himself undergoing facial skin grafts after he hears the phone ringing and accidentally tries to answer a steam iron.

We hope you enjoy the series premiere of Queer Eye On The Straight Guy. There will be more episodes to come, and we hope you come back for every single one.

Posts : 3993

Hilarious, Jack!!! Felt like I just sat through a soap opera.

Wouldn't this "PLOT" or, "theory" be better, based on....

JCMT - What happened to Mr. JCMT?

I have theories, but the thing is, I think someone "Did away with him".

Thicken that plot. Whatever happened to him, the past few months? Did he get threatened or blown away with lug nuts? bounce

Posts : 6988

Queer Eye On The Straight Guy

Episode 2

In a continuation of the previous episode, the fire department is called to help get sporks out of the Smart Car. When Arnie90210 spots firefighter Jack ‘The Hose’ Malone using the Jaws of Life, he falls, and falls hard, for the hunky hero.
Meanwhile, the orifice, fascinated with his new shoelaces, accidentally ties his tongue to his foot.

Posts : 6988

Queer Eye On The Straight Guy

Episode 3

Things go haywire when the boys devise a plan to get Jacques to wash his car wearing only a Speedo.
Later, while working his way through an all-you-can-eat buffet line, sporks inadvertently swallows a child.
Tempers flare.

Posts : 6988

Queer Eye On The Straight Guy

Episode 4

As he is rollerblading in the pride parade, Arnie90210's feathered outfit attracts a flock of angry pigeons and, for the first time in his life, he finds himself face to face with more peckers than he can handle at one time.

Official Eye on Happy Jack Thread Obama-newsome

Official Eye on Happy Jack Thread Obama-newsome

Posts : 6988

Queer Eye On The Straight Guy

Episode 5

When neighbors call the police to report hearing cries of “Get in my belly”,
along with the disappearance of several pets, suspicion falls on sporks.

Posts : 3993

sparks wrote:: Since Happy Jack hides behind a screen name, how would any of us know anything about his life? I really don't think he has the brains or the money to impact anything. Freetime and the Preacher worked hard using the media to publicly express their opinions and bring about change.

Is your life really different, using your real name? Even though you don't use it, and post as "Sparks"?

Behind a computer screen? How has YOUR real name brought about, "CHANGE"?

Yes, we know you are proud of your name, and only use it when you want to feel mighty strong, but, how often is that, and really, who cares?

Really, Sparks...whether you give out your name or not, how does that "change" things for YOU?

Posts : 3993

happy jack wrote:: Queer Eye On The Straight Guy

Episode 5

When neighbors call the police to report hearing cries of “Get in my belly”,
along with the disappearance of several pets, suspicion falls on sporks.

"Why officer, that fool went right past us, passing by like a fart in the wind."

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UrRight wrote:: "Why officer, that fool went right past us, passing by like a fart in the wind."

Another grandkid on the way,Ur? Is it a boy or a girl?

Posts : 9728

sparks wrote:

UrRight wrote:: "Why officer, that fool went right past us, passing by like a fart in the wind."

Another grandkid on the way,Ur? Is it a boy or a girl?

Posts : 3993

sparks wrote:

UrRight wrote:: "Why officer, that fool went right past us, passing by like a fart in the wind."

Another grandkid on the way,Ur? Is it a boy or a girl?

Nope. That's my second cousin, Flossie's first cousin, Sophie, with Franky, her second husband, who replaced her first husband that was a second cousin, once removed.

I don't have grandkids and hope my kids have sense enough not to bring a kid in this sick world today. So far, so good!!!!

lol!

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Sad. I'm looking forward to being a grandma in the next 10 years.

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KarenT wrote:: Sad. I'm looking forward to being a grandma in the next 10 years.

I look forward to spoiling grandkids. I agree that it's sad URright life experiences have been so bad that she hopes her children don't become parents

Posts : 3993

I would love a hundred grandchildren. I would NOT want them to experience the world as it is today. It is not the world we knew growing up.

Who doesn't want grandchildren or children? I recently had a conversation with an old group of friends. If we had a CHOICE today to bring children in the world like we did before, we chose NOT to bring them in today's environment.

Sounds controversial, I guess I am saying, I would love dozens of grandkids, but that's up to my children, not me. But, for me, if I were them, I wouldn't bring a child into today's world.

It is no longer the world we grew up in.

Spoiling grandchildren, Sparks? Who doesn't want to do that. It isn't the same world we grew up in. All my friends, even my sister-in-law, said we would never bring a child in this world today, if we were in our 20s or 30s, knowing how bad it is out there.

If it was the kind of environment, meaning carefree days, and no fear of one war after another, the state of the economy, the high crime, I would have kids today.

I should have said, IF IT WERE ME. I should emphasize I would LOVE grandchildren, but if it happens, you bet I'd be the doting gram. I would still fear for the future for them. It just is a terrible world out there. I don't see it getting better.

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Sunday in the Park Pictures, Images and Photos

The world our children grew up in; the world we grew up in.

Posts : 3993

Today, if you're in the right spot at the wrong time, count on getting shot.

Posts : 9728

Let's try and stay on topic. Anyone seen Happy jack lately? I'm a little concerned that he's missing affraid

The last times he posted were at odd hours in the middle of the night. Shocked

Perhaps something is weighing heavily on his mind. affraid

Developing
cyclops

Posts : 6988

Artie60438 wrote:: Let's try and stay on topic. Anyone seen Happy jack lately? I'm a little concerned that he's missing The last times he posted were at odd hours in the middle of the night. Perhaps something is weighing heavily on his mind.

Developing

Queer Eye On The Straight Guy

Episode 6

When he realizes that it is Monday, the day that a shirtless Gai Jacques usually comes out to mow his lawn, Arnie90210 breaks out the binoculars and plans a romantic day of ‘Jacque-watching’ through his window. Anticipating a day of self-eroticism, Arnie90210 takes a double dose of Cialis, but is disappointed and concerned when Gai Jacques fails to appear. Worried that Gai Jacques has something “weighing heavily on his mind”, Arnie90210 thinks about going over to check on Jacques, but is embarrassed to leave the house due to the very tiny, but still noticeable, pup tent in his pants.

Posts : 3993

nosey neighbor Pictures, Images and Photos

But, Gai was spending a few nights carving out his next move, aiming at his stalker's den. On a recent morning, he stood back, admiring his sculpture, sending a pricless message.

telling nosey neighbor to kiss your ass without confrontation? (my fav,) Pictures, Images and Photos

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