- KarenT wrote:
- As a wise cousin told me, it doesn't hurt less, you just get used to the pain.
I thought that also. But, I feel numb. My mom needs all of us kids and I'm the only one holding out, because everything up there was about him.
They were both a team. I admire my mom's stamina, her insistence he stay there, but it hurts me so much that I don't want to go back. It isn't the same without him. He always turned a negative into a positive....and so much is there.
It hurts too much to even go back, even though I love my mom, the neighbors, it's always not the same now, and I know I am holding my feelings inside, I just don't want to cry in front of anyone.
Too many memories, and I don't want to go there because so much reminds me of the backbone of the family...and I yet, don't feel strong enough to go there to try and face my mom without crying, and it hurts so much.
I guess time will take the pain away, but it has to be on my own accord, and my dad was the corker. His humor surpassed anyone I have ever known.
Neighbors erecting a flag pole years ago...neighbors that all loved him. He was the funniest guy on earth.
I can go on...but sometime, sometime I have to really let it all out.
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