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 Never Laughed So Hard In My Life...Driving Through the "Winter Wonderland!"

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UrRight



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PostSubject: Never Laughed So Hard In My Life...Driving Through the "Winter Wonderland!"   1/1/2011, 12:47 pm

Just got back having to go thru Cal City....I never laughed so hard in my life.

You know that guy that owns the lawn mower/snow plow place on the corner of Burnham and River Oaks Drive?

I always get a kick out of that guy putting up letters on his sign. I can't recall what was on the sign heading west, but it made me laugh.

Returning home, on the way east, the other side of the sign said, "Thank YOU Calumet City Council for Raising Our Taxes!"

I tried telling that guy just to have an auction and go enjoy his life...that was two years ago...but he continues to put up hilarious signs.

Further west, I saw on River Oaks Drive and Stateline Road the vegetable shack. The sign read, "Gone Fishing". I warned them months before they closed they were going to go out of business. They jacked up their prices, and added less inventory and were foreignors.

So much for progress...

Then heading back east I noticed all the big shot stores abandoned...across the street from McDonalds on River Oaks Drive and Burnham Avenue.

I also noticed other businesses vacant years ago, still vacant, with more vacant businesses.

LOL...the time Tom's Restaurant was bustling with oldies are long gone...

The ole' strip-tease place my ex ran is going under renovation...guess mayor Idiot decided she needs more business afterall.

Then in Hammond, though the place was staked out, and dancing is no longer, three from the toilet are displayed on the billboard...along with cold beer, "hot bar", what'eva....

I just get a big laugh and kick out of that guy, his last name is "TEASE", so now I know where his humor comes from...when he displays signs at his lawn mower place that must be 1982 lawnmowers.

You have to possess a sense of humor living in that stupid city of Calumet City. Won't need to be called anything but a ghetto in a year or two. Absolutely drove business out and the ghetto in.

May your conscious rest in peace, Michelle Quack.
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Artie60438

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PostSubject: Re: Never Laughed So Hard In My Life...Driving Through the "Winter Wonderland!"   1/1/2011, 9:59 pm

[quote="UrRight"]
Quote :
Just got back having to go thru Cal City....I never laughed so hard in my life.

You know that guy that owns the lawn mower/snow plow place on the corner of Burnham and River Oaks Drive?

I always get a kick out of that guy putting up letters on his sign. I can't recall what was on the sign heading west, but it made me laugh. I just get a big laugh and kick out of that guy, his last name is "TEASE", so now I know where his humor comes from...when he displays signs at his lawn mower place that must be 1982 lawnmowers.

Returning home, on the way east, the other side of the sign said, "Thank YOU Calumet City Council for Raising Our Taxes!"

I tried telling that guy just to have an auction and go enjoy his life...that was two years ago...but he continues to put up hilarious signs.
I've never seen a business close so often for one reason or another. I always look forward to seeing what the latest excuse is.
Quote :
Further west, I saw on River Oaks Drive and Stateline Road the vegetable shack. The sign read, "Gone Fishing". I warned them months before they closed they were going to go out of business. They jacked up their prices, and added less inventory and were foreignors.

So much for progress...
It had nothing to do with them being foreigners other than the fact that bigots like Lois Lane stopped shopping there for no good reason other than the fact they were Latino as soon as they took over. A few more mistakes like re-striping their parking lot and the former owners taking out the garden & plant section and replacing it with groceries sealed their fate.
Quote :
Then heading back east I noticed all the big shot stores abandoned...across the street from McDonalds on River Oaks Drive and Burnham Avenue.

I also noticed other businesses vacant years ago, still vacant, with more vacant businesses.
That whole section is declining. The "Bella Rosa" restaurant closed. The property was remodeled into "Granny's Pancake House". I think they lasted a week or 2. Then it became some barbeque place which I don't believe ever even opened. Very strange.

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LOL...the time Tom's Restaurant was bustling with oldies are long gone...
They still do OK,as does Misch Bros.

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The ole' strip-tease place my ex ran is going under renovation...guess mayor Idiot decided she needs more business afterall.
Where is that?

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You have to possess a sense of humor living in that stupid city of Calumet City. Won't need to be called anything but a ghetto in a year or two. Absolutely drove business out and the ghetto in.

May your conscious rest in peace, Michelle Quack.
A bad economy is the primary reason,not Michelle.
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UrRight



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PostSubject: Re: Never Laughed So Hard In My Life...Driving Through the "Winter Wonderland!"   1/2/2011, 2:30 pm

I beg to differ. The bottle of wine I bought was $10.00. In Will County it is $6.49. In Indiana it is $6.49.

Taxes? Ha! You gotta realize that Teaser is right! "Thank you for jacking up the taxes". I buy nothing in Crook County.

Not even at Aldie's because of the taxes.

I just laugh cuz although I mentioned before Teaser's signs irritated me...I did have the opportunity to meet his wife when she held a yard sale in the parking lot.

At the time, the council passed an ordinance stating you can't just put up a "For Sale Sign" without paying each time.

His wife (who must enjoy her husband's sense of humor making the best of the worst) told me they were going to sue...for freedom of speech/expression on the ordinance they passed.

Since then, even though I told them to just auction it off, and go live in peace, they continue to make fun of the bad choices in Cal City.

Yes, Misch Bros. is ok, but not the generation I saw buying the products of meat we used to buy. Mainly aimed at Polish people or people who want quality meat.

Lot's of kids in there wanting to buy candy...and now, remove the hoods, accompany by an adult or 2 students allowed at one time. That changed.

I see the parking lot at Tom's Restaurant less loaded than when I patronized it. His menu is now more expensive, and I see he is getting desperate. So much for the word going around it's illegals running the kitchen.

As far as the stupid veggie/meat place on Stateline or is it Wentworth, and River Oaks Drive,..it wasn't about them turning the plant part into a toilet tissue and canned goods place, Artie. Nor was it about the fact they built a special cove to have plants to buy..they did that.

They jacked up their prices, and fewer and fewer people patronized it for the meat and veggies cuz they jacked the prices up. They didn't provide the atmosphere the former owner bragged about...which he did on-board to make sure it sold. Deceiving us on the board...a usual Greek idiot lying.

The Hispanics that took over, much like other Hispanics don't know English, so when you look at that experience, who the hell wants to deal with someone who doesn't know the American market?

His products on the shelf dwindled, nothing was almost left, and I only went in there two times to tell him he was not keeping up with the tradition of good meat, low prices, etc. The last visit I told the cashier, "Where's everyone at...used to have to wait in line...you are definitely going out of business, cuz I sure as hell ain't coming back!"

The cashier assured me on the last visit...(just walked out without paying their high prices) that "Oh, no, we are not going out of business!

She's out of a job two weeks after that. "Gone Fishin!"

So by Teases' sign, "Thanks for the tax increase," what are the facts?

I do not buy anything in Crook County...i REFUSE TO PAY TWO TIMES OVER WHAT OTHER COUNTIES CHARGE.

Did they really vote for another tax increase? They gotta be out of their minds, if they did.

Surely, they should have shut down the veg shack made out of plastic, but they enjoyed the tax revenue....which is why the Hispanics went fishing.

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UrRight



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PostSubject: Re: Never Laughed So Hard In My Life...Driving Through the "Winter Wonderland!"   1/2/2011, 2:31 pm

That's a bottle of wine for NY's Eve I didn't get to enjoy.

By the way, did they really raise taxes in Cal City? I missed the news, if they did.
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Artie60438

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PostSubject: Re: Never Laughed So Hard In My Life...Driving Through the "Winter Wonderland!"   1/2/2011, 6:30 pm

[quote="UrRight"]
Quote :

I just laugh cuz although I mentioned before Teaser's signs irritated me...I did have the opportunity to meet his wife when she held a yard sale in the parking lot.

At the time, the council passed an ordinance stating you can't just put up a "For Sale Sign" without paying each time.

His wife (who must enjoy her husband's sense of humor making the best of the worst) told me they were going to sue...for freedom of speech/expression on the ordinance they passed.
Here's why that law is a good thing.....If you allow everyone to hold a yard sale as often as they want with no fees,it will quickly turn neighborhoods into 7 day a week flea markets.
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Yes, Misch Bros. is ok, but not the generation I saw buying the products of meat we used to buy. Mainly aimed at Polish people or people who want quality meat.
Huh?
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Lot's of kids in there wanting to buy candy...and now, remove the hoods, accompany by an adult or 2 students allowed at one time. That changed.
I'm sure rules like that are in place in stores where you live too.
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I see the parking lot at Tom's Restaurant less loaded than when I patronized it. His menu is now more expensive, and I see he is getting desperate. So much for the word going around it's illegals running the kitchen.
Prices go up,that's a fact of life. They're still doing OK.
Quote :
As far as the stupid veggie/meat place on Stateline or is it Wentworth, and River Oaks Drive,..it wasn't about them turning the plant part into a toilet tissue and canned goods place, Artie. Nor was it about the fact they built a special cove to have plants to buy..they did that.
That most certainly did have an effect. Smaller grocers can't compete with larger chains like Strack,Ultra,and Food 4 Less on common items like cereal,canned goods,etc. Eliminating the green house and plants and replacing it with groceries was a terrible decision.
Quote :
They jacked up their prices, and fewer and fewer people patronized it for the meat and veggies cuz they jacked the prices up. They didn't provide the atmosphere the former owner bragged about...which he did on-board to make sure it sold. Deceiving us on the board...a usual Greek idiot lying.
They did not "jack" up their prices. I shopped there and I can attest to that. Immediately after taking over their business fell off a cliff. I attribute that to gossiping bigots. There was no other logical reason as the quality remained the same. As business fell of they stopped carrying some ethnic products they were know for and that had a snowball effect.
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The Hispanics that took over, much like other Hispanics don't know English, so when you look at that experience, who the hell wants to deal with someone who doesn't know the American market?
Here we go again Rolling Eyes Have you been to "Pete's" on Sibley in the old Dominicks location? That place is thriving despite your projection that it would fail. Oh,and btw,it's Latino owned and operated Shocked
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UrRight



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PostSubject: Re: Never Laughed So Hard In My Life...Driving Through the "Winter Wonderland!"   1/3/2011, 1:37 pm

I bet you Pete's is 90% food stamps. No one will pay the taxes on food in Cal City vs in Indiana with cash and taxes.

I bet 90% of their customers don't have a car or if they do, they get TANIF.

Although we tend to agree to disagree, I immediately saw the downfall of that rubber shack on Burnham and R.O. Drive. I knew in my heart at the beginning it was on the downhill, after it was sold.

It had nothing to do with being HISPANIC, and I apologize if I came across at that being the reason...it had to do with Business Sense.

They had no business sense. They didn't provide the customer service, they did numerous things wrong. I only went there one time and got pissed. The second time, cuz I thought they had a public washroom.

You have got to get out of ILLINOIS. That's the truth. I ate breakfast this a.m., ordered 5 orders of sandwiches for my son and his friends...paid for his fiance's breakfast, mine, and total bill: $25.00. For seven people.

You can't get that in IL.

The guy who owned the plastic shack wrote that big shot article to sell his place. I give him credit for lying to get out.

I LOL at the guy with the 1982 mowers but support his signs. At least he makes the best of the situation...whatever his motive is. Maybe he is dedicated to Cal City and just wants to joke around but doesn't BLUFF.

But to fine him for putting it up for sale whenever he feels like it..maybe we should fine the council members and the mayor for not even living in Cal City and paying property taxes.

He should be able through through constitutional laws, say whatever the hell he wants on his sign.

I give him more credit than the mayor that lies about living in her father's home and giving a false interview.

She's nuts...not him. I used to love Tom's until I knew someone who worked for him and found out something you don't know...he has illegals in the kitchen.

He's in the diner coniving with cops,...what I know about him he doesn't know...coming from a source that worked for him.

They are crooks and milk the taxpayers' system. I don't want the two eggs for one after I found out why he could afford that.

Just a business guy collecting two paychecks... like Rudy, Stroger, etc. Bullshitters.

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UrRight



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PostSubject: Re: Never Laughed So Hard In My Life...Driving Through the "Winter Wonderland!"   1/3/2011, 1:57 pm

Hey, Artie...I know my prices. Especially chicken and ground chuck. That jerk raised his prices at the plastic shack.

I KNOW prices! Laughing
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UrRight



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PostSubject: Re: Never Laughed So Hard In My Life...Driving Through the "Winter Wonderland!"   1/3/2011, 2:01 pm

When is the last time you shopped without "specials" and found the same price...$1.79 for boneless chicken not on sale?


How about ground chuck at $1.69 a pound?

God, you need to visit outside of IL!

Shrimp always 15 lbs. for 15 lbs. Ask me, I'll tell you where - in Will County, IL.

Certain crap from Aldies, certain shitz from where'eva....know your prices and where you are..don't drive there just to think you are saving money...plan the grocery shopping on daily routes.
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Artie60438

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PostSubject: Re: Never Laughed So Hard In My Life...Driving Through the "Winter Wonderland!"   1/3/2011, 5:20 pm

[quote="UrRight"]
Quote :
I bet you Pete's is 90% food stamps. No one will pay the taxes on food in Cal City vs in Indiana with cash and taxes.

I bet 90% of their customers don't have a car or if they do, they get TANIF.
When you factor in the cost of gasoline it's usually cheaper to shop close by. You only save 2% in Indiana on taxes and no,it's nowhere even close to 90% food stamps.

Quote :
Although we tend to agree to disagree, I immediately saw the downfall of that rubber shack on Burnham and R.O. Drive. I knew in my heart at the beginning it was on the downhill, after it was sold.

It had nothing to do with being HISPANIC, and I apologize if I came across at that being the reason...it had to do with Business Sense.

They had no business sense. They didn't provide the customer service, they did numerous things wrong. I only went there one time and got pissed. The second time, cuz I thought they had a public washroom.
Your statements regarding Mexicans are well known. You were probably rooting for them to fail.

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You have got to get out of ILLINOIS. That's the truth. I ate breakfast this a.m., ordered 5 orders of sandwiches for my son and his friends...paid for his fiance's breakfast, mine, and total bill: $25.00. For seven people.

You can't get that in IL.
Where was that? I'm sure you can find cheap places if you look hard enough.

Quote :
She's nuts...not him. I used to love Tom's until I knew someone who worked for him and found out something you don't know...he has illegals in the kitchen.
What restaurant doesn't? Some place in Dyer/schererville got shut down recently for illegals.

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Artie60438

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PostSubject: Re: Never Laughed So Hard In My Life...Driving Through the "Winter Wonderland!"   1/3/2011, 5:26 pm

UrRight wrote:
When is the last time you shopped without "specials" and found the same price...$1.79 for boneless chicken not on sale?


How about ground chuck at $1.69 a pound?

God, you need to visit outside of IL!

I like it just fine in Illinois. I was at a kids hockey game in Dyer a couple of weeks ago. My cousins from Naperville 9 yr old son was playing. The Indiana parents were all acting like the poster children for bad sportsmanship. All I could say to my cousins was "Welcome to Indiana" while we all rolled our eyes.
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UrRight



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PostSubject: Re: Never Laughed So Hard In My Life...Driving Through the "Winter Wonderland!"   1/4/2011, 12:09 pm

The restaurant was on 172nd & Indianapolis Blvd...forgot the name...next to Schoop's.

I live back and forth....I don't stay in one place at all.

I just pick up stuff I know where their prices and quality is...while going around.

I do go to Jewel's for my mom in Michigan - to get her fat-free Italian bread, even though she is French/German.

I don't care - my point is, I just noticed the guy that owns that old lawnmower place...his signs used to irritate me...but now I find myself laughing. Wanting to know his next "joke" message is.

He obviously doesn't want to leave...if he does, he'd just auction it off.

He cracks me up now, with his signs.

One or more times a year..."Gone for Vacation". "Closed for Inventory!"

"Make an OFFER!"

"Congratulations" to so and so...

He just has a great sense of humor. Before I thought he was nuts....but I guess now I look at it as "Making the Best of the Worst Situation AT MY AGE!"

By the way Artie, dear.....my daughter worked at Dominick's before it closed. She worked at the one in Lockport or somewhere, inbetween going to H.S. and ended one year having to switch to Seaton H.S. So she transferred her employment from the Will County to the Dominicks on Sibley.

I cracked up when one of her co-workers (they worked the service desk)....when my daughter left for college...her black co-worker was a loveable gal...she texted her, "What? Ghetto ain't good enough for you???)

Anyway...my daughter said it was 90% food stamps. People live in section 8 around there. They had to borrow cash from her former location and other various locations to survive. They closed it a bit after my daughter left for college.

So, based on that, that's my opinion...mostly food stamps because no one wants to pay the taxes on the food. Cal City has the highest taxes in Crook County suburbs and it's just a fact...no one with a car is going to shop at Petey's....it is welfare recipients that walk to the store...or just don't want to drive to Indiana for less tax.

I do give Petey's credit for opening up...maybe it is successful...but the argument is I bet most are food stamp recipients.

It's always been that way.

OOOOH, I forgot...this should back up my claim...Nick that owns Tom's food...saw him shopping at Stracks in Hammond...now why would he be shopping in Hammond when he has a shit-load of food in his restaurant?
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UrRight



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PostSubject: Re: Never Laughed So Hard In My Life...Driving Through the "Winter Wonderland!"   1/4/2011, 12:16 pm

Artie60438 wrote:
UrRight wrote:
When is the last time you shopped without "specials" and found the same price...$1.79 for boneless chicken not on sale?


How about ground chuck at $1.69 a pound?

God, you need to visit outside of IL!

I like it just fine in Illinois. I was at a kids hockey game in Dyer a couple of weeks ago. My cousins from Naperville 9 yr old son was playing. The Indiana parents were all acting like the poster children for bad sportsmanship. All I could say to my cousins was "Welcome to Indiana" while we all rolled our eyes.

I don't doubt that...they complain about it in the Naperville Newspaper, The Herald News...all over it happens. I've read complaints even in the Northwest IN Times, the P-T.

Parents all over the USA are complaining about the same thing you just spoke about.
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PostSubject: Re: Never Laughed So Hard In My Life...Driving Through the "Winter Wonderland!"   1/4/2011, 2:36 pm

UrRight wrote:

So, based on that, that's my opinion...mostly food stamps because no one wants to pay the taxes on the food. Cal City has the highest taxes in Crook County suburbs and it's just a fact...no one with a car is going to shop at Petey's....it is welfare recipients that walk to the store...or just don't want to drive to Indiana for less tax.
I sometimes shop there and you're dead wrong.
Quote :
OOOOH, I forgot...this should back up my claim...Nick that owns Tom's food...saw him shopping at Stracks in Hammond...now why would he be shopping in Hammond when he has a shit-load of food in his restaurant?
Ummmmm......maybe because he cooks food but doesn't produce the raw materials?
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UrRight



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PostSubject: Re: Never Laughed So Hard In My Life...Driving Through the "Winter Wonderland!"   1/4/2011, 6:25 pm

pig He should go to Moo & Oinks.

Notice Food For Less opened up in Dolton? Shortly before I moved out of Dolton there was a "Save-A-Lot".

The grocery store I was shopping at years ago...I was bitching at the meat prices going up. Guess who was next to me? The dead mayor...Shaw's brother. I remember him telling me I should be shopping at Save-A-Lot.

I said, "Well, if you save a lot at "Save-A-Lot," what the hell are YOU doing here? I told him the stores are full of crap in Dolton, and I was getting ready to move anyway, and I told him that Save-A-Lot is gonna go out of business.

That came true.

The joint I went to raised their prices, etc., cuz Save-A-Lot was temporarily the spot to go to, but you couldn't get the quality of the meat the other joint had, that raised their prices.

Now, the mayor passed away about two years ago. Food-For-Less ,moved in at the old K-Mart location and now I'm waiting to see how that other place is gonna go under. Damn, it's been so long, I can't remember the name....Fairway or Fairplay, what ever.

I did notice less cars there last trip I took. So, I guess the Food For Less is getting all the business. Who cares.

Cal City needed Pete's Supermarket, point is, I bet not 90 percent, but well, close to 70% of their customers use the food stamp card.

They all are section 8 behind, across the street, side-ways, left and right.

I predict...yeperie..like JCMT...yeeperie...the place will be gone within five years and I want you to show beating a dead horse and remind me if I am wrong. A business can't survive on food stamps only. NO.

They will start raising the food prices while waiting to be reimbursed by the broken gov't.
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UrRight



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PostSubject: Re: Never Laughed So Hard In My Life...Driving Through the "Winter Wonderland!"   1/4/2011, 6:52 pm

Hey, you are wrong on one point....the Meican store one block away...had the owner and his family over for New Year's EVE.
They are among the sweetest people we know. My son is now his favorite customer. They became friends...I got to meet his whole family.

I just have a grudge when they plaster the building with all kinds of ads like the one down by the Chinese restaurant....on or around 174th & Columbia.

I feel the city should have a strict sign ordinance...that I would want to patronize a place not because it's slapped with wallpaper making it looking ridiculous...and the owners are standing behind a bullet-proof window...what the hell. Get out if you are that scared, and quit desecrating the atmosphere.

I wish and I really wish the cops would see the kids congregating a block away...anytime of the night and also that CODE starts a sign ordinance for businesses.

It is so ugly that place, plastered more than ever with homemade signs, that if anyone in their right mind wouldn't enter it. What you see on the outside, can you imagine what they have on the inside?

It also doesn't do any justice for the newly rehabed housing along 175th and Columbia. Have no idea who is occupying those beautiful buildings...but where are that stupid grocery store is, I wouldn't dare buy a thing from them. It has become worse since some code enforcer got mad and posted something about it, which I see as a "Slap you back" response from that deplorable store.

It's awful...Hammond needs to enact an ordinance, declaring some type of "NO signs outside the buildings". I found a great ordinance they should adopt, so I think I'll send it to the Mr. Call or Kearney. It's gotten out of hand..I passed by today...you must have a stomach to want to patronize a wallpapper business like that.

Honestly, I think more goes on in there than just selling groceries and meat that stinks. I have observed crowds of young black kids on a school night on the corner west of the business. Not once, but a few times. I think there is more than groceries being sold. Who the hell would buy groceries from that place when no one is inspecting how long the meat sits behind the counter?

Anyway, look for improvements with the Mexican store on the corner of 175th and Columbia. I told him what NOT to do. He's a sweetheart...knows his business, and goes out of his way.



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UrRight



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PostSubject: Re: Never Laughed So Hard In My Life...Driving Through the "Winter Wonderland!"   1/4/2011, 9:22 pm


4-11-4: DEFINITIONS:

The following terms when used in this chapter shall be construed as follows:

CHANGEABLE COPY SIGN: A sign or portion thereof which has a reader board for the display of text information in which each alphanumeric character, graphic or symbol is defined by objects, not consisting of an illumination device and may be changed or rearranged manually or mechanically with characters, letters, or illustrations that can be changed or rearranged without altering the face or the surface of the sign.

CHANGEABLE COPY SIGN, ELECTRONIC: A sign or portion thereof that displays electronic, nonpictorial, text information in which each alphanumeric character is defined by a small number of matrix elements using different combinations of light emitting diodes (LEDs), fiber optics, light bulbs or other illumination devices within the display area.

COMPREHENSIVE SIGN PLAN: A sign plan for a building and its associated grounds, a multibuilding development site or a multi-tenant building indicating the number, types, locations, dimensions, materials, and colors of signs proposed.

CORNER LOT: A lot with property lines of two (2) streets bisecting on an angle.

ELECTRONIC GRAPHIC DISPLAY SIGN: A sign or portion thereof that displays electronic, static images, static graphics or static pictures, with or without text information, defined by a small number of matrix elements using different combinations of light emitting diodes (LEDs), fiber optics, light bulbs or other illumination devices within the display area where the message change sequence is accomplished immediately or by means of fade, repixalization or dissolve modes. Electronic graphic display signs include computer programmable, microprocessor controlled electronic or digital displays.

FACADE: The face or wall of a building as it is presented to view; the apparent width and/or height of a building as viewed from streets, driveways, and parking lots. Minor changes in wall elevations do not constitute the creation of additional facades.

FREESTANDING SIGN: A permanent sign which is supported by a structure or supports that are permanently anchored in the ground and that are independent from any building or other structure.

HUMAN SIGN: Animals or human beings, live or simulated, holding or carrying a sign, or dressed in costume, designed or used so as to attract attention to the premises or activity.

MULTIVISION SIGN: Any sign composed in whole or in part of a series of vertical or horizontal slats or cylinders that are capable of being rotated at intervals so that partial rotation of the group of slats or cylinders produces a different image and when properly functioning allows a single sign structure to display at any given time one of two (2) or more images.

NEON SIGN: Brightly colored signs produced by pumping neon and other noble gases through a vacuum tube and applying electricity.

PERMANENT SIGN: Any sign which is permanently attached to a structure or a foundation.

REAL ESTATE SIGN: A sign placed upon a property advertising that particular property for sale or lease.

RESIDENTIAL MONUMENT SIGN: A permanent freestanding sign placed at the major entrances to and identifying a multi-family development or multi-family planned unit development.

SHOPPING CENTER: A commercial development in excess of ten (10) acres of land improved with a structure of at least fifty thousand (50,000) square feet containing five (5) or more distinct and separate retail businesses.

SHOPPING PLAZA: A commercial development in excess of one acre of land, improved with a structure containing three (3) or more distinct and separate retail businesses, also sharing common parking areas and access drives.

SIGN: Any structure, vehicle, device, or any part thereof, which shall be used to identify, advertise, or attract attention to any object, product, place, activity, person, institution, organization, firm, group, commodity, profession, enterprise, industry, or business and which shall display or include any letter, word, model, number, banner, flag, pennant, insignia, device or representation used as an announcement, direction, or advertisement, and which is intended to be seen by persons in the public right of way.

SIGN AREA: Unless otherwise specified, the area of the smallest triangle, rectangle, or circle which can wholly enclose the surface area of the sign. In the event that individual letters or insignia of a wall sign are attached directly to the wall and vary significantly in size, sign area may be computed using not more than two (2) triangles, rectangles or circles per word or insignia. Visible faces of a multifaced sign shall be treated as if it were a single faced sign with only the area of the largest single faced sign visible at any one time being computed to determine sign area.

SIGN FACE: The surface of a sign or sign board upon, against or through which a message is displayed.

TEMPORARY MOBILE SIGN: Any sign which is manifestly designed to be transported, including by trailer or on its own wheels, even though the wheels of such sign may be removed and the remaining chassis or support is converted to another sign or attached temporarily or permanently to the ground since this characteristic is based on the design of the sign.

TEMPORARY SIGN: Signs, freestanding panels, flags, streamers or banners used to advertise products, prices and services or attract attention, intended to be displayed a limited length of time and not permanently attached to a structure or a foundation.

TEMPORARY WINDOW SIGN: A sign or display installed inside a window or door window and intended to be viewed from the adjacent public right of way and not constructed or intended for long term use and permitting reasonable viewing of the interior or exterior.

VIDEO DISPLAY SIGN: A sign that changes its message or background in a manner or method of display characterized by motion or pictorial imagery, which may or may not include text and depicts action or a special effect to imitate movement, the presentation of pictorials or graphics displayed in a progression of frames which give the illusion of motion, including, but not limited to, the illusion of moving objects, moving patterns or bands of light, or expanding or contracting shapes, not including electronic changeable copy signs. Video display signs include projected images or messages with these characteristics onto buildings or other objects.

WALL SIGN: A sign attached directly to a building wall which does not extend more than twelve inches (12") therefrom, nor extend above the eaves line of a gable, hip or gambrel roof, nor extend above the facade of a flat roof, nor above the deck line of a mansard roof.

WINDOW SIGN: A permanent wall sign which is visible to persons in the public right of way and which is placed within or on the outside of a window or on the inside of a glass window, or on the inside of a building and within one foot (1') of a window. (Ord. 1035, 10-6-2009)
Just a hint......







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