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 Turkey Hot-Lines, How to Cook a Turkey, Who to Call...

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UrRight



Posts : 3993

PostSubject: Turkey Hot-Lines, How to Cook a Turkey, Who to Call...   11/24/2009, 3:24 pm

I'm so sick of the news reporting how you can call a "Turkey Hotline" for your TURKEY on Thanksgiving.

As if we never baked a turkey except on Thaksgiving.

As if we're the first generation to already need suden instructions on how to "Bake A Turkey".

Has it ever occurred to anyone how obnoxious this is?

People eat more turkey today, and serve it as a main meal as much as they make FISH a part of their weekly meal.

It's not like "How to make a germ-free hamburger!"

Here's all you need to know: read the label, find out how many pounds the over-grown "chicken" weighs, season it like a chicken, (remove the guts, cook alongside the turkey if you want to feed the dog or make gravy from the flavor of the giblets and neck-bone), when times up, stick a thermometer in it.

For those that aren't use to washing your hands continuously, sorry... learn new habits. Wash, wash, and wash. Follow the Pig Flu Rules.

And, whenever you stick that turkey under the faucet to wash it off (before cooking), if it comes in contact with the sink, or counter top, wash, wash, wash, with a bleach=based cleaning agent that won't ruin your countertop. Wash your hands before and after.

Any cutting boards you use whether for turkey or other veggies, etc., same advice applies.

Make sure you store your leftovers no less than two hours (immediately after everyone is done eating) because bacteria sets in.

It's now advised to make your dressing separate. To impress company, stick it in the hole before serving...no longer is stuffed Turkey acceptable. Ask the experts, I never did do that, anyway. I made it the day before, and after the Turkey suffered in the oven, I stuffed its butt, making everyone think it grew some stuff.

There you have it. Act like its an over-blown roasting chicken, and I promise you that you won't need a 911 to call. Better yet, eat out. If you get sick, at least you can sue them.

I hate these stupid Turkey Hotlines every year. If mom's can't teach their daughters/sons, that's another waste of news.

Or rather, you don't actually don't know how to cook a roasting chicken. C'mon, admit it. Happy Thanksgiving, and if you don't want to cook, go out.

I do have to fess up to a secret. I never knew there was a TOM TURKEY or a CHICK TURKEY until a few weeks ago, when my dad requested a "CHICK". I said, what the hell is a Tom or a Chick. My mom said, Chick's got more breast meat. Geez, the things you learn after you went all this time not knowing whether it was a Tommy-Boy or a Chica-Roo we were eating.

Something you don't need to call the hot-line about. I just told you! Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. Good health, good times, and no bad Turkey days!
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UrRight



Posts : 3993

PostSubject: Re: Turkey Hot-Lines, How to Cook a Turkey, Who to Call...   12/14/2009, 5:27 pm

How to bake a ham with a delicious topping!


Before you stick that HAM in, stick real whole cloves in. Nearlyy when your ham is done, about a half hour before it is due, here's what you do. Sounds gross, but the ex was an Italian, and I gotta give him credit for teaching me not to eat steak with ketchup back in the '70s.

Take a can of crushed pineapple. To your discretion, add enough brown sugar to sweeten it to your delight. The corker is to add ground cloves....a couple of dashes. Then squirt it with Grey Poupon. Mix, throw it over the ham, and you'll love it.

Another sweet idea: Fried, frozen corn in butter. Add green peppers, green onions, mushrooms...and at the end, 8 oz. of cream cheeze. Sounds corny, but try it. You'll like it! Do we have a recipe forum? Yeah, but this is devoted to holiday treats and recipes.

Another favorite: Make mashed potatoes a day ahead. Store in the fridge, then when you need to serve it, beat them up with chives, sour cream and one or two eggs, depending how large your order is (I make five pounds). After beating them up in the mixer with raw eggs, transfer to appropriate size baking dish. Throw Progressive bread crumbs on top. (You can add garlic, parsley, sour cream, etc., while mixing; including sharp cheddar cheeze).

Throw it in the oven at 375 degrees and watch it mount to mountain sized double baked potatoes!

All in one dish! Made ahead of time, but add the eggs to make it grow and the Progressive bread crumbs make it look extra scrumtious.

Instead of making that boring string-bean casserole, do something different! Fry up some red onions in olive oil, and garlic. Simmer fresh green beans in that mixture, you won't miss Campell's mushroom soup and those canned, fried onions.

Liver dumplings...yum! Grind up beef liver, add to flour and salt, parsley, onion and garlic and make a serilious dumplin' mixture. A loose mixture....boil you pot of water, and cut the free-flowing dough into the boiling water, and watch them when they hit the top; they're done once they float to the top.

Meanwhile, pan-stir-fry all the onions you can imagine in a skillet and pour those dumplings in the butter-onion mixture. If you hated liver all your life, you'll love this one.

'Stuffed shells: Here's the secret they don't tell you...the real ingredients!


Tons of mozzerella shredded, tons of real parmesan cheeze shredded, and tons of ricotta, equal parts. Add garlic powder, parsley and Italian seasoning. Then add one or two eggs. If you make two pans, make one egg per one cup of equal parts of the above. The egg is the secret. One egg to each part of one cup of each of the above. Double portions make double pans. Stuff your cooked shells with the mixture. Add your own special sauce (I make my own spaghetti sauce, but thicken it with tomato paste, and if short on time, just get Sargento's Pizza Sauce...good enough. Bake long enough each pan, 35 to 40 minutes so you don't choke on raw eggs.

You can use this same filling for lasanga, but to cut time, (make sure you cook your sauce with the meat added, additional onions, garlic, and Italian seasonings to the sauce). Instead of layering, put the cheese mixture on the lasagne noodles (cooked al dente - halfway), and roll them up in a roll face up. Do this for every lasagne noodle. Then pour your sauce mixture on top. Add parmesan again on top. Don't buy the parmesan in the aisle in a plastic container. Once you grate your own, you wouldn't think of buying the crap in the plastic bottle. Asaigio cheese, too. Add that! wow!!!! Half the work.


If you need one forth the time, cook some rigottoni noodles, enough to fill a roasting pan, throw in all the meat/sauce mixture, cheese mixture, and cover...bake for about 45 minutes. But stick to the stuff shell recipe when combining cheeses and eggs. I'm telling ya...it sounds like a lot of work, but it isn't. Just make sure while making your spaghetti sauce with ground chuck (please don't use ground beef), that you really cook that without the veggies at first. The green, red, yellow peppers, onions, mushrooms (porabella is better!), is cooked in garlic and olive oil. Drain the grease from the meat, and add the vegs.

Wash your freaking hands all the time, including the cutting boards, knives you use, and use plastic gloves while cooking the crap and cleaning it. If you sneeze, walk away and do it in your under-arm. Whether they're shaved or not. Take off those gloves, and wash your hands again. Keep dog/cats out of your kitchen. No matter how clean you are, wash your utinsels and pots/pans before using it prior to cooking, even though you think they're clean.

Spinach DIP:

Two 8 oz. pkgs of spinach, thawed and drained. Squeeze that juice out. Add Mama Grass' Vegetable Soup Mix, one cup of sour cream, one cup of Helmann's. Green onions optional. Mix the crap up. Serve with BUGLES. Better than crackers!

Shrimp/Crab Dip:


One large pkg of cream cheese softened. Drain one can of crab meat and one can of those hideous little shrimp. Slop in some Worchestershire sauce, Bay seasoning, and have a ball after mixing it up by making a ball out of it. Right before serving it, after chilling out, dump shrimp sauce on it, serve with fancy crackers.

Don't want mashed potatoes? Make a dish you can stick in the oven right before company comes!

Scalloped Potatoes:

Peel RED potatoes (screw white); make sure you wash them though, and slice them 1/4" thick. Layer the bottom of the medium-sized roasting pan, or a casserole dish. Use common sense as to which type of dish or size, depending on the amount of eaters coming or using. Cut up white Vandalia onions.....chop them, I mean. Sprinkle those to cover the potatoes.

Then take a can of mushroom soup, diluted with 1/4 cup of water, (thrown in the microwave to loosen it up), then spread a little over that layer. Add sharp cheddar cheeze.

Don't forget your salt, pepper and parsley if you like parsley.

Repeat the layers, and don't cringe after you run out of your can of mushroom soup, diluted with water. Just repeat until you sparingly use the soup to cover but lavishly sprinkle the sharp cheddar cheese.

End with the cheese. Bake 450 degrees for 45 minutes with aluminum wrap on top. Last fifteen minutes, take the aluminum wrap off, and let it brown on top.

You'll croke when you think it will be sooo hard cleaning the casserole dish, but honestly, after scrapping the sides to get that scalloped taste, soaking it overnight, it washes off easy.


Chicken Acapulco: Catch me later! Thought I'd have some fun adding family recipes (though some already are on Mrs. Grass' Veg Soup pkg's).

Red Velvet Cake and EASY NEW YORK CHEESE CAKE...ask me later. German Chocolate Cake, Easy Sugar Cookies...all made for diabetics...is available..the only transition is to use Splenda in the same amount vs real sugar, and you still have the same taste! My mom sure knows how to cook and bake. Happy Holidays.

If anyone out there has some really great appetizers/dishes, please tell me. I'm actually sick of the above. I need new recipes!!!! rendeer







Looking for a special dip homemade to dip fresh veggies in? Don't buy that crap in the supermarket called, "Veggie Dip". Get more flavor and more for your money on this deal:

One cup each of sour cream, Hellman's (NOT MIRACLE WHIP), and small curd cottage cheese. Mix it up with one DRY package of Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing. I have notorius taste buds, so I add another half package of the ranch dressing (not the wet crap, the dry stuff). If you double it, don't smoke, you can double your recipe using two full packets of the dry dressing.

Cut up celery, green, yellow and red peppers. Cauliflower, broccoli, whole mushrooms, tiny globe tomatoes, cucumbers, and what'eva.

There ya go. That's one appetizer down for Christmas, and if ya need another...try that artichoke/mozzerella served warm, dip.

Another cool one is the layered taco dip...great for the Super Bowl!



8 x 8 pan: Use one of whatever I tell ya.

8 x 12: double it.

Throw a huge can of refried beans (throw some dry taco seasoning in it to give it a twirl). Add a small can of green chopped chilis and mix the crap up and throw it on the floor of the pan.

(Optional): Smash up green avacados and add a little hot sauce/minced garlic to it..throw that on top.

Then ya spread sour cream on top. Don't buy the Mexican sour cream unless you're Mexican.

Then ya throw on homemade salsa, or store bought if you don't make your own homemade salsa.

Throw on the Chiwawa (sounds like dog cheeze), on top with sharp cheddar cheeze, if you aren't really all that Mexican.

On top of that, add sliced, pitted black olives or buy the whole ones, and slice them yourself.

On top of that, or alongside of that, chopped green onions.

Serve with not Doritto's "Nachos", but the real Mexican taco chips....

And make sure everyone puts it on their own damn plate, and not double dip. I usually have hot sauce sitting by, because I like HOT SAUCE on top,.

Throw out what no one eats one day later. The avacado (if you don't add a sprinkle of lemon juice), still turns ugly looking. Not that there's any left over....
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UrRight



Posts : 3993

PostSubject: Re: Turkey Hot-Lines, How to Cook a Turkey, Who to Call...   12/14/2009, 6:09 pm

Sorry about typos. I'm not gonna go back to fix them...like, "scrumpsious," and minor stuff. Anyone out there with some family recipes that would be better, or different? Especially appetizers.

I only bake when I have to.
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KarenT



Posts : 1328

PostSubject: Re: Turkey Hot-Lines, How to Cook a Turkey, Who to Call...   12/15/2009, 5:16 pm

Frozen meatballs, can of Cream of Mushroom soup and can of Golden Mushroom soup. Rinse out the cans. Put in slow cooker and heat through! Delicious - even to husband who doesn't like mushooms!
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Artie60438

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Posts : 9360

PostSubject: Re: Turkey Hot-Lines, How to Cook a Turkey, Who to Call...   12/15/2009, 5:49 pm

KarenT wrote:
Frozen meatballs, can of Cream of Mushroom soup and can of Golden Mushroom soup. Rinse out the cans. Put in slow cooker and heat through! Delicious - even to husband who doesn't like mushooms!

I don't understand the rinsing out of the cans?
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KarenT



Posts : 1328

PostSubject: Re: Turkey Hot-Lines, How to Cook a Turkey, Who to Call...   12/17/2009, 12:00 pm

For a little more liquid. Rinse out the cans and pour the liquid in the crock pot. A trick from my depression-raised mom. I do that with canned beans, soups, most things.
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UrRight



Posts : 3993

PostSubject: Re: Turkey Hot-Lines, How to Cook a Turkey, Who to Call...   12/21/2009, 11:37 am

That sounds good. Gonna try it!
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